i'm packin' my bags...

...and i'm leaving town. not for good, just for a long weekend. a much-needed long weekend away from everything. in other words, a vacation.

why does SHE need a vacation? you might ask. sure, i do a lot of traveling and it seems like i could very easily take on a 2nd job as a flight attendant, but do not be fooled. these trips are not as innocent and fun as they appear. las vegas? sure, fun with a group of your peers, but not so much with your boss and/or co-workers that are your parents' age. weekend trips to texas? awesome, but always scheduled and jam packed full of things to do. in other words, these are not vacations, these are trips with randomly dispersed moments of fun and very little relaxation.

as of 6pm on thursday i will be disconnecting from everything and enjoying myself for the next 4 days. sure, this trip is supposed to be tim's birthday trip and i suppose i should be worrying about making sure he has a good time and does everything he wants to do. but you know what, i'm lucky enough to have a laid back, relaxed boyfriend who simply wants to decide what we do when we wake up and will be perfectly okay with whatever we choose to do.

that means NO itineraries. NO schedules. NO plans. for those of you who know me, you're probably expecting me to explode right now. how is she going to function without making a schedule?

(by the way - lala you will appreciate this - when i type in italics on behalf of the collective conscious of my readers i think about jim gaffigan and his soft little audience-thoughts voice he uses during his stand-up.)

the answer: i won't. rather than struggling against my own organizational nature i found a middle ground. i created a "list of things we can do," rather than a "list of things we must get done today or this vacation will suck balls." some might consider this only a mild effort; i consider it step 1 of "the 12 steps of recovering from organizational compulsiveness."

i am also combating my urges with my nifty new "pack this!" list from knock knock. if i could, i would create packing lists for everyone i knew traveling somewhere, it's just heaven for the organizational, list-making, to-doer. oh, and if you've never seen or heard of any of their products, go to their website now or visit your local urban outfitters. it's a company that creates its products with the humorous organizer in mind.

so if you don't hear from me for a while, don't worry. i'm recharging my batteries and refueling my tank - right now i'm sputtering down the road and crossing my fingers that i'll make it to the airport for my flight.

17 seconds...

the smashing pumpkins reuniting. in a 2005 article, lead singer billy corgan wrote: "for a year now i have walked around with a secret, a secret i chose to keep. but now i want you to be among the first to know that i have made plans to renew and revive the smashing pumpkins. i want my band back, and my songs, and my dreams."

i want the band back too! and i want new songs! and i want new dreams...well, not really, i'm happy with mine, but i totally support corgan's desire to get his back. the band made an official statement on their website in april of last year and have recently announced the beginning of their reunion tour, which starts in europe.

the smashing pumpkins were pivotal to my adolescence. they summed up my thoughts, my fears, my heart, and my mind. sometimes they didn't make any sense to me, but i often found myself not understanding who i was either, so it all worked out. (note: this link in this paragraph is different than the one in the first sentence)

one song in particular always comes to mind when i think about listening to their albums over and over in the car or in my bedroom after school. it's called "17" (seconds), and it's on the adore album. i want to say the song is actually 17 seconds long, but i vaguely recall it not being so, ironically. i'll have to check later when i dust off all my old CD's, convert them to MP3, and stock my iPod full of them. either way, it's a beautiful song with insanely awesome, simple lyrics that remind you that it only takes a short moment to enjoy life.

i was/am a pumpkins fan that didn't/doesn't really like the mainstream stuff. sure, "1979" and "tonight, tonight" are great pieces of musical artwork, but they were overplayed and beaten to a pulp by every radio station. so i fell in love with the songs that never made it there. i probably owe a lot of that "falling in love with" to graham, my first love/high school boyfriend. he got me into the band in the first place and we often listened to them together, the high school lovers we were, and drew parallels between the lyrics and each other. maybe that was just me though, now that i think about it.

my favorite album had to be siamese dream. it's pure poetry - both in lyrics and music. i can safely say that the words to these songs helped solidify my love of poetry and my intrigue of analyzing other people's words. i would spend hours pouring over the CD insert (remember those?), learning the words so i could recite them to myself in class the next day. i always wanted to meet corgan, just to get a glimpse at the man who created that awesomeness.

sadly, i never made it to one of their concerts when they were together back in the day, so that chance never arrived. but alas, there is a renewed chance. i don't usually shell out the big bucks for concerts but i will pay whatever it takes to get me the best seats possible when they start touring in the US...anything to hear them perform live.

around the rumor-mill...

anna nicole smith: murdered. i'm calling it now. whether or not it ever comes out i'm convinced somebody killed her. and her son. it's just too strange how they both died from the same combination of drugs. and there are plenty of people who have motive.

her "family" in texas for example. (did you know her mom's name is vergie? it's what we would called fergie if she was a vegetarian. is she a vegetarian?) they were already estranged, why not complete it? kill her, kill her son they don't like, and get the money they think they deserve. not to mention attempt to get custody of the new baby and milk her life for all the mula it's worth.

or how about her first husband's son who was bitter of the fact that he didn't get daddy's inheritance? EDIT: apparently my research skills are poor and i failed to learn that this man is actually dead. he can now be ruled out as a suspect.

also, any of her daughter's claimed baby-daddies. howard k. stern (not this guy - which i learned only after anna's death), larry birkhead, zsa zsa gabor's prince of a husband, and of course, let's not leave out the bodyguard. kill anna, fight for custody (now that she's out of the picture and unable to block the tests), and use said motherless baby to get money, fame, and other things rich people want.

and what about all those people suing trimspa? sue the spokeswoman, then kill her. makes the legal process smoother without a big name, wealthy woman on the company's side.

anyway, it wasn't suicide or an accident or due to a bout with the flu. somebody poisoned her. that's my theory and i'm sticking to it.

britney spears: nervous breakdown? head lice? publicity stunt? rehab requirement? skinhead? take your pick, they are probably all right. her website is currently "under construction" and will return soon with a new look, just like her. there has been no "official statement" on her behalf.

i think her team is just waiting for some talk-show host/news anchor/radio dj/random dude on the street to think up the best reason. then they are going to cook it up and run with it. why? because even britney doesn't know why she did it. which i find totally acceptable. we all do things we really can't explain; things that just seem like a good idea at the time. this act just happened to be a poor choice on behalf of somebody who's life is constantly in the public eye.

bill o'reilly seems to think she's on the path to being the next anna: “everything this woman is doing is working against the woman, there is nothing that she’s doing right now that is helping her...her audience is gone, she could end up dead just like ms. smith." other parallels? jacked up marriage history. blonde hair (most of the time). custody battles. severe public scrutiny throughout most of her career. battles with drugs & drinking.

and bill is not the only one thinking along these lines. example one. here's another. and then there's my favorite, that diagnoses britney with "anna nicole syndrome." that takes a level of class that very few gossip columnists can stoop too.

of course, i can't forget to mention that while britany's stunt might be a sign of things to come (as foretold by anna nicole), donald trump might also embrace the new look. maybe spears is just being a trend-setter?

third annual home-made valentine's card...

as you may remember, every year tim makes me a home-made valentine's day card. here is last year's. one day i'll take pictures of the original card. i wonder if when he made the first one he knew that from that day forward, every year on february 14th, he was going to have to break out the elmer's glue and try to top the previous year's card.

this year, i got home from work and saw a hallmark envelope on the table. i automatically assumed he hadn't had time to make something and, to his dismay, i was completely understanding and not upset about the end of the tradition. until i opened the card:

please be sure to notice the crossed out BIRTHDAY, and written in VALENTINE'S DAY. i think the worst part of it was the "so, score!" part.

when i leaned over the give tim a thank-you-kiss, he looked like a lost puppy. apparently my failure to execute a dramatic reaction to the card that he forgot to give me on my birthday was horrifying. so he immediately pulled out this:

it was a book!

yeah, sort of...

true.

no, i just let him think he does.

you're welcome. and i love you too.

i also got a monkey face magnet for the fridge...

i like cake...

last night i went to see CAKE perform on the uc berkeley campus. and it was awesome! every time i go to a concert i am reminded of why i love music. if you don't know CAKE, you should go to their website and buy a CD - or go on iTunes, whatever. they have a trumpet player (vince difiore), he rocks. and john mccrea has a one of a kind voice. and you can always find a beat to nod along to. and lyrics you can understand and sing along with.

i love how you can tell bands really get along and like each other based on the way they groove on stage together. i truly appreciate seeing a band preform live when you can see their chemistry - when you know they work well together - and it shows up on the stage. of course this is sort of a no-brainer, who wants to see a show where the members of the band can't groove together?

the opening band was good, too. odd that they never really introduced themselves until right before they got off stage, but what am i going to do? they were called honeycut (thanks scott), and i think if i had to choose one word to describe their performance it would be "SPUNK." i've never seen grown men playing instruments and dancing the way i saw last night. the lead singer could do a high kick better than your average high school cheerleader. and the keyboardist had a nearly choreographed rotation of feet while simultaneously rocking two, yes two, keyboards.

it all made me want to get out of my seat, run down to the front of the floor, and dance like a crazy person next to the stage- flailing my arms, kicking my legs, spinning in circles, messing up my hair, and go wild in public where everyone else watching the show could see me. oh, no, wait, some girl was already doing that. i don't want to be a follower.

happy monday...

i may have said this before, but every morning tim either sends me an e-mail with a cartoon in it, or IM's me with a link. below is today's. i just like it because of the last frame, the cat looks ridiculously cute with the pancake on his head.

the audacity...

i can't even begin to express the amount of stress, pressure, confusion, anger, and frustration rolling around inside me right now. one quarter because words cannot be strung together to make sense and three quarters because i just can't. i don't want to end up being dooced. thankfully i have a wonderful, patient man in my life who sends me fun e-cards starring hoops and yoyo that make me laugh - even if it's only for sixty seconds out of my 11 hour work day.

in other news, i had the WORST service at a restaurant ever this past weekend. on top of feeling rushed the entire time we were scorned at, given dirty looks, and even questioned about our place of origin. now, don't get me wrong, the place we went had a fantastic chef. everyone loved their food. but our server was awful and down right nasty to us.

everything started normally - drinks, menus, etc. when we ordered, two of the people ordered salads, no big deal. but apparently it was to our waiter. both women who ordered salads were asked, in a very rude tone, "is that all?" not "can i offer you a bowl of soup with that?" or "can i get you anything else?" just a simple question that implied his shock at their lack of ordering more than a salad.

our food popped in front of us in less than 12 minutes. impressive, and almost redeeming of the rude attitude served with it. until he attempted to gather our plates before we were done. at this point we had all commented on the pace of our service and the lack of amiability, and were slowly taking pennies off of his tip.

my plate was taken at the same time our check was dropped off. minus $0.50.

i wanted coffee. i received a set of rolling eyes with my cup of joe. minus another $0.75.

i think it's important to note that at no point while we were there was there a line out the door, a rush for tables, or even a full restaurant. it's not like he was under pressure to get the next table in the door.

two of us went to the bathroom to return to a table for 4 with only 3 chairs. the bastard took the 4th chair before we were even done! minus a whopping $1.00.

then came the worst part. the part that anybody who's worked in the service industry knows is a sin. he took the bill, looked at the tip, and then looked at the two of us who'd split the bill on our cards and glared at us. of course we hadn't tipped him perfectly, he practically rushed us out the door from the moment we arrived and treated us like we were children.

i went to the bar and asked to speak with the manager. i was given the owner. we spoke, he said "he's fired!" really loud, with a jolly laugh. (uh huh, sure buddy.) then he apologized and told me that "the best way to communicate dissatisfaction with a server is to not tip him." too late - he didn't even offer to refund us our tip and there was no doubt in my mind that this guy wasn't even going to know i spoke to his boss. until right when i was about to finish my complaint.

our server walked behind the owner while i standing there and said, to my face, "so now you're talking about me to him, huh?" you're damned right mister! i was appalled at the balls this man had. really? you're going to confront me, the reason your job exists, in front of your f'ing boss?! who are you?

and then finally, for the icing on the cake (which we didn't even get offered): as we were gathering our things he walks up to our table, one last time, shoots us a nasty look and asks "where are you from, anyway?" as if OUR attitudes were unacceptable.