deep in the heart of texas...

* clap! * clap! * clap! *

in about 5 hours i will be on my way back to texas. i'm really excited and pretty much can't concentrate on anything else because of it.

i will be spending the next 10 days with some of my dearest friends, enjoying the hot texas nights, and eating entirely too much tex-mex.

forgive the lack of posting...i'll do what i can!

browsing...

doggie bag?

"This guy should have been lying dead, but he was still driving. It must be an unofficial national record."

demonic, orange-crazed children

why can't this happen more often?

** ADDITION at 1:50pm **

best of craigslist

dish network is the place to be...

(i have the "green acres" theme song stuck in my head...)

now that i've had satellite TV for the past week i have finally discovered all 140 channels we receive.

some of my favorites include:

Fuse: it's all about their one show called "pants off, dance off." watch it, it's better than american idol. if only simon was there to share his 2 cents with those people....
G4: cool, if you enjoy learning more about techy-geeky stuff and video games
Sci-Fi: how can you complain about access to x-files reruns, the outer limits, and the twilight zone?
GSN (Game Show Network): best...channel...ever. hands down. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week: the newlywed game, jeopardy, family feud, weakest link (BBC version), the $10,000 pyramid, love connection (it's all about reliving the late 80's and early 90's fashion trends), and my personal favorite...press your luck (also known as the "no whammy" game). it totally brings back the days when all i would do during the summer was swim and watch game shows while munching on popsicles and candy...
BRAVO: finally...queer eye for the straight guy and project runway at my fingertips.

some of my not-so-favorites include:

Lifetime Movie Channel: really!? do we need more movies about somebody's out of control, anorexic, teenage daughter who got knocked up by the abusive too-old-for-her-boyfriend all because her mother never set a good example for her?
The Men's Channel: even tim agrees this is crap...it's very stereotypical outdoors, big trucks, fishing stuff. think lifetime for men...
MTV2: wasn't this channel created so we can have a place to watch music videos again?

tired...

phew...i'm tired.

this past weekend tim and i made the move. over the course of 3 days we moved nearly everything from our former residences to our new, shared house. and it had to be the worst move i have ever experienced. yes, worse than hauling my crap 2000 miles across the country. i think it mostly had to do with the fact that i had to make 8 trips back and forth to get it all into the house. looking back, i think paying the $30 for a uhaul would have saved me a lot of pain. and gas...

but after all of the hard work we put into it (with the help of a few friends on saturday - THANK YOU!!) we did it. all of our crap is now sitting in piles in our house. and honestly, we got more done this past weekend than i expected. somehow tim managed to landscape the yard and fix the sprinkler system. and i fully organized the bathroom and our extremely small closet. it may not sound like a lot, but it was enough to satisfy me for the time being. i figure if we chip away at it a little each night it will all be done by the time i go back to texas next week.

that's right folks...i am going back again! and after looking at all of my friends recent pictures of graduation and leaving-SU parties i sure am anxious. i am looking forward to it all so much: throwing my first bachelorette party on thursday, girls spa day on friday, being ashley's bitch all weekend (it's the maid of honor's duty), and possibly tubing on memorial day. and then the rest of the week i will have a chance to visit all of the people i miss so dearly! the only bad thing about all of it is that i will have used up all of my vacation time by the time a return...but really, it's a small price to pay for all of the fun i know it will be.

anyway, i apologize for the lack of creativity in this blog...my brain is not functioning at normal speeds today. my body is still aching and it looks like somebody beat me up because of all the bruises scattered on my arms and legs. perhaps when i recover from moving i'll be back to normal.

three hundred sixty five days ago...

i graduated from college. where did the past year go? then, i never would have imagined that a year later i would be packing up my first apartment in california to move in with my boyfriend of a little over a year. i would have never thought i would be nearing the one year mark of my first professional job. i never would have guessed that i would be this happy so far away from everything i have ever known.

and it's funny, there are some things that haven't changed: i still watch adult swim every sunday (i just TIVO it and watch it during the next week). i still enjoy how jon stewart provokes me to question things (i just don't write about it in papers due the next day). i still drink too much (just not every weekend). i still cohabitate with a boy who's not technically supposed to live with me (although now it's with somebody i'm about to legally split rent with). okay, so maybe things have changed. but i'm happy with them...while it's all NOTHING what i expected, i'm glad that it's not. if i was doing exactly what i had planned...which now that i think about it was nothing, i had nothing planned...i wouldn’t be happy if it all worked out the way i thought it should. where's the thrill in that? funny, me, the organization freak, saying that i enjoy unplanned events.

i mean, holy crap...i have four friends planning weddings, 3 of which will be wed in the next 6 months. all the girls that i "mentored" as an RA my sophomore year are graduating and about to be in my shoes. i have a friend moving to OK to pursue a graduate degree in uber-math. i am currently friends with 2 married couples, one of which is pregnant. i never could have imagined it all, but it's all so great.

i am sure i am not the only one going through these thoughts...i know a lot of "my group" has been contemplating this...the fact that we have just completed our first year as college graduates. i know that they have. just tonight lindsey (yes, i mentioned you again!!) posted a comment on my first college-graduate post.

we are all going through that freak out time...that "holy shit, adulthood has suddenly taken a hold of our lives. and we might just be okay with it" feeling. but i tell you one thing, it's nothing like the "holy crap i'm graduating with no plans and no clue as to what i'm going to do with the rest of my life" feeling. not saying that i don’t appreciate that time in my life…just know that i believe it’s really a once in a life time feeling that i don’t want to experience again.

familial roles...

tim says that i talk to my younger siblings like his older sister talks to him. at first i thought this was odd, making me wonder if sometimes he viewed me that way (as an “older sister”), but then i got to thinking about it. of course i sound like his older sister, i AM an older sister. since i was 9 years old i have played the role of "older sister." the majority of my life has been spent playing that role - the only longer role being "daughter."

because tim has an older sister for his entire life 100% of his experiences have included her. so when he listens to me talk to my younger brothers and sister it rings a bell. what i want to know is what exactly is it that causes that recognition? is it my tone? my phraseology? my octave?

i would be curious to know if other people experience similar recognitions in their relationships - friendly and romantic. i also notice how lindsey and i often “click.” our personalities mesh well. i think some people might wonder why we are friends to be honest. but i think that connection we have is based on the roles we played in our families. she was "little sister" (15 years littler), and i was the "older sister" to my sister (also 15 years younger than me). we both relate to each other on that level as well as the many other things we have in common.

i guess a lot of these thoughts are inspired by my newest TV obsession: "shalom in the home." TLC. monday nights at 10pm PST. it's about a Jewish rabbi that travels around america in his air stream trailer visiting troubled families. he spends a week with them, psycho-analyzing them in his trailer parked in the front of their house. his goal is to bring peace back into their lives and their homes.

so, shmuley (the rabbi) spends 10 days with each family. and during that time he brings up aspects that each family member must work on and also encourages them all to work more as a family - rather than individually functioning units. especially the parents. he focuses on how parents need to be aware of their actions as both spouses and parents and reminds them that their choices affect the rest of their family. in other words, he reminds them of what their "roles" are. he emphasizes that without them children would be unable to form relationships later in life with people outside of their immediate family.

i think he has a really good point - and i might just be restating what psychologists have been saying for eons - the environment we grow up in affects the people we end up being. but it's not the TYPE of people (regardless of what is includes - gay parents, conservative or liberal, single mom or dad, adopted, step-parents, etc.) it’s whether or not each person plays their role in the relationship. i just find it hard to argue with it...nurture vs. nature? it always seems to come down to that, huh?

i think i’ve just brushed quiet a lot of potential thought. it’s been a while since a tangent has sparked my interest this much. and i just want to throw it all out to the internet...

running through my head...

...no, not frou frou's song, just my thoughts.

* moving stresses me out. i don't know where to start. i wish i could start moving right now...taking a few things over each day. i wish i didn't have to box things up to transport them. why hasn't somebody created teleporters yet? i know i'm only moving 4 miles up the road, but this seems harder than moving 2000 miles across the country. hopefully once i sign the lease on wednesday and the new carpet is put in i can start migrating that way. one step at a time, right?

* immaturity irritates me. i guess it's not until your nearly a year out of college (and as of this saturday i will be) that you realize how much you grow up during those 4 years. you learn how to handle situations better, how to react properly to things, and how to carry yourself as a grown up. i suppose when it comes to those younger than me i need to be more patient and remember how i was at that age. although i swear i was not as immature as i see people being today.

* i got my tax return this weekend. i celebrated with a shopping weekend with lindsey, who was visiting, but sadly the rest of it is going to the deposit on the rental house and my credit card bill. wish i had more to play with, but the reality of things is that i have probably played too much already and i need to pay that back.

* tim got into a car accident with a concrete wall yesterday. don't worry, he's okay - just some bruises and scrapes. but his little 98 honda accord is not. it got towed to the scrap/auction yard today. i'm sure he'll blog about it at some point, so i'll let him tell the story. that whole ordeal has left him in search of a new car and me playing taxi. i don't mind really...just very glad that he's okay and only a car was lost in the grand scheme of things. it really makes you remember that all the crap you normally bitch about (see above) doesn't really matter...