the reality of dreaming...

if you are a continuing reader, you're aware that i have been having rather vivid dreams recently. they've been colorful, action-packed, and rather entertaining to talk about the next morning. but until today, they were just dreams.

after crawling back into bed around 8am to sleep for another hour and a half i woke up to "hey juilette" (a really bad song i put on a mix cd 4 years ago) and slammed down the snooze button. 8 more minutes is all i wanted. so during those 8 minutes i fell into that half-asleep half-awake phase where reality and dreams often become intertwined. i'm sure everyone has experience this...it's when you fall back asleep and you dream about the garbage truck backing up into your house only to find out when you wake up that it's trash day and they are on your street.

after my alarm went off for the second time i rolled out of bed groggily. i took care of my bathroom needs (and don't think this is gross...we all have to pee when we get up, and you know it) and then began deciding what to wear. it's casual friday, so it was an easy task...tank top and jeans. but...before i could decide what tank top i was going to wear there was a loud, heavy knock on my front door.

now, a few days ago i had received a notice that termite inspectors would be coming through today, so i figured they arrived early. so i threw on some pants and unlocked my door. but lo and behold, it was not the termite men. there, standing in my doorway, was a fully uniformed lafayette police officer. i'd tell you his name, but i was too confused to note all the details. the conversation between us went something like this:

ME: hi officer. can i help you?
OFFICER: yes mam, we received a 911 call from your apartment about 10 minutes ago.
ME (with shock and confusion in my voice): um, well that's strange. i didn't make one. i don't even have a land-line, just my cell phone...and it's not a local number.
OFFICER: well is everything alright?
ME: yes sir. you're welcome to come in and take a look.
OFFICER: no, that'll be alright. is it just you here?
ME: yup. i just woke up less than 10 minutes ago. (pointing down to the end of my building) you know, sometimes the mail man confuses my apartment with the townhomes down at the end. could the call have come from there?
OFFICER:no, the call came from your address, __________, and your apartment. this is apartment A, correct?

(what? you think i'm going to put my address on the internet for any stalker to come and give me a reason to call 911)
ME: yes.
OFFICER: well, do you happen to know anyone with this number? (rattles off a local number)
ME: nope.
OFFICER: alright, i'm sorry to have woken you up.
ME: no problem. had to get up some time. sorry i can't help you.
OFFICER: thank you, have a good day.

and i close my door rather confused. sure, i could end my story here and it would be a tale of weird and unexplained things but here's the catch: remember how i said that i've been having vivid dreams lately? well...when i woke up this morning, after my 8 minutes of half-sleep, i found myself rather frightened and recalled that in my dream i was yelling "call 911! call 911!"

what really grinds my gears...

last night tim and i watched stewie's family guy dvd and it inspired me to get a few things off my chest this morning. so in the words of peter griffin: you know what really grinds my gears?

• when talk show hosts tell stories in attempt to make themselves sound like an average person. for example...on the view this morning (no, i don't watch that damned show, it's just usually what's on in the background while i'm getting ready. it's either that or some drug-inspired pbs children's show.)...on the view this morning the red-headed chick (see...i don't even know their names) was telling a story about how she was walking to work this morning and stopped at a newspaper stand to buy a paper. sure...whatever. there's no way she walks to work...she gets paid a chunk of change to be a talk show host, i'm sure she drives or takes a limo. and realistically, she probably has to be at work by 6am to do makeup and prep for the show...she would have to leave really f'ing early to walk to the studio.

• the abbreviated versions of "fucking" being spelled "effing." who does that? (besides every stupid teenager in the world.) it's obviously "f'ing." what bothers me more is that dictionary.com defines "eff" as "to have sexual intercourse with," meaning that they actually recognize the f'ed up spelling of the abbreviation.

• my cat cleans her ass on my desk (and is doing so as i type this)...and my kitchen counters...and my chairs...and every other damned place in my apartment. seriously...somebody needs to create a "kitty bathroom" where they can go to lick their butthole and cough up hairballs in an area that other people don't use on a regular basis.

• people who nap in their cars. it's a big tease to those of us who are looking for a parking spot. seriously...i stalk you all the way through the parking lot only to watch you get in your car, turn on the engine for air conditioning, and recline your seat. come on....find a couch!

dreams, work, & parking...

my dreams have beeen very odd lately. last night i drempt about a lady who was supposedly my sister and had found me because she needed advice on men. two nights ago i was back in junior high in my pajamas arguing with the p.e. teacher about how to stretch. thanks to my boyfriend's oh-so-lovely cat i failed to sleep through the last night. and all that runs through my head are thoughts about work. this is nothing like the stress i expereinced in college...not even like the time i had 3 papers and a final due during the week of my 21st birthday.

my call center went life monday and the phonathon began! while i wish i could divulge tons of information about how it is going, i unfortunately know of other stories in which blogging about work has gotten people in trouble (cough...dooce...cough). what i can tell you is that i have been working 11 hour days this week and probably will for the next week. not because i have to, but becauase i want to. yes...i am putting this stress on myself.

sure, i have the option to come to work at 1pm after enjoying a lazy morning or running errands, but all i do is sit in my apartment and make lists of thigns i need to do when i get into work. nuts, i know, but it happens. my hopes are that once the first few weeks of calling pass i will be able to let go of some of my worries and things will go smooth enough that i can start coming in after lunch. then, i have open a.m. time to start riding my bike again...or walking to the lafayette resovior...or watchign the t.v. shows i missed the night before. but for now...it's a different story.

the other reason i'd rather get to work early is because of parking. seriously...i thought soutwhestern had the worst parking ever. let me tell you...mills college takes the cake. i parked in the bushes this morning! literally...i made a parking spot in between a cadalac and some bushes with orange berries. as i parked i could hear the top and side of my car getting scratched. i did not pay $30 for a permit that "allows" me to drive off-road in order to park. on the bright side...at least my car is shaded.

rita...

** Part III 09.25.05 6:21pm PST **

just a quick update to let everyone know that rita turned enough that houston only experienced a gas shortage, loss of power to part of the city, and a few downed trees. thank you to everyone who kept those in the area in their thoughts and prayers. hopefully this was the last big one of the season. it would be nice not to have to worry about hurricanes any more.

** Part II 09.22.05 11:09am PST **

after an agonizing night of praying that rita would turn or my dad's mind would change i woke up with puffy eyes and a desire to glue myself to the t.v. yet again. one of my prayers was answered. rita took a turn to the east over night and has recently died down to a category 4. i am thankful that my family is now facing less of a horrible disaster, but am still worried sick about those sticking around for the ride and those who are now bracing for the worst.

thankfully my mom has recently moved further north and will not experience the friendswood flooding i remember too well from tropical storm allison. my dad's another story. he's boarded up his house, the rent houses, and helped several neighbors prepare as well. and he's staying around to see what rita's going to throw at texas. he's got a good head on his shoulders and a lot of people praying for him...so i have faith. the rest of my family has found various spots to shelter themselves or are currently fighting traffic to get there.

in regards to my friends in good ol' h-town, it's sad to know that some of them may experience nasty flooding and that the places i grew up playing may go underwater. regardless, i am glad that the people i created those memories with (and their families) are safe or traveling to safety as i type.

the past few weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster for me, as well as members of my family so i hope this is the last up and down i have for a while. i'd really like to settle into some pattern of normalcy. i'll keep updating as i feel needed.

if you are interested in reading other texans' thoughts and concerns about rita, try these links:

http://tim-o-rama.blogspot.com
http://joshreiner.blogspot.com
http://tautologist.com
http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=trulylew

** Part I 09.21.05 11:13pm PST **

..please pray. thank you.

lunch hour weekend recap...

...the long awaited lunch hour.

as i sit here waiting for my leftovers to warm in the microwave my back aches and my eyes fight to stay open. it's like my body is already tired in apprehension of the next two weeks ahead of me. the call center goes live one week from yesterday. in less than 7 days everything i have been working on for the past month and a half will come together and either
(a) be a huge success or
(b) blow up in my face.

i'm hoping for option (a).

besides work becoming rather crazy my life has been good. alyssah came to visit me this past weekend and we had several adventures. after an unplanned "tour" of oakland's industrial district i picked her up from the airport on thursday night and returned to my apartment only to crash rather quickly. luckily i only had to work a half day on friday and that afternoon i got to show off my little town for the first time. nothing too exciting, but she took pictures that should be up on my dotphoto site some time this week. now you can all see what lafayette, ca looks like. i know you were anxious about that.

that night tim was lucky enough to take two lovely ladies out to dinner and to the roundup (our local watering hole). after a run-in with a creepy man staring at the 16 year old looking girls in the bar (i.e. us) and a good laugh at the bet-losing man in a pink tank top, we called it a night. little did we know our feet were going to hate us by the end of the next day.

saturday morning i made my second drive into the city and successfully found fisherman's wharf and various other san francisco sites. we ate at a really cool place that made their bread fresh every day and got rather creative doing it. you could even stand on the sidewalk and watch. it was a good meal, even though our waiter thought that i went to the lafayette high school and our parents had dropped us for for a day in the city. his eyes nearly popped out of his head when we told him how old we were. some day it'll pay off...some day.

anyway, so after that we took a stroll down past fisherman's wharf and on to ghirardelli square. it was rather crowded and alyssah and i quickly came to the conclusion that we were invisible. i think we both got run into/stepped on/stopped in front of at least 10 times. nonetheless, we found several opportunities to take pictures to prove our existence. we even found some lovely gentleman, butunfortunately we are both already spoken for.

interestingly, the whole area was a lot different than i remembered from my 9-year-old visit. the crappy t-shirt shops that you could get your name spray painted on didn't seem so enticing and all of the cheesy tourist traps didn't even render a second look. i guess that's part of growing up.

instead of being intrigued by cheap souvenirs, i was drawn to watch the crazy, and nearly famous, "bush man" scare people.

we made our way to ghirardelli square to find several more shops and a few restaurants. after sampling some oh-so-sweet chocolate at the original chocolate shop and getting a warm beverage we began our trek back to fisherman's wharf.

we were greeted by a sea of people as we began strolling through pier 39. i suppose that's what we get for going on a saturday afternoon. either way, we were going to find the "stinky sea lions" that tim said we needed to visit. we passed a man eating fire, a knife shop, a few dozen ice cream stores, and finally stumbled upon a clue as to where these sea lions could be found.












so we followed the signed and found them...well, okay, we heard them before we saw them. and yes, they were stinky as promised. okay now, i realize that so far all of my pics have been of alyssah...and it looks like i wasn't even there, so first, here's the proof that i went with her:
and second, the explanation: the reason there are no pics of me are because she was told (after failing to get enough during her recent trip to costa rica) to get lots of pictures of her. so we decided she'll take pictures of me and i'll take pictures of her. long story short- i don't have her pictures yet. check back later and i'll have added some.

*** UPDATE 09.28.2005 ***
pictures of me are now added, if you couldn't tell.

after we saw the sea lions (NOT seals), we declared our feet tired and drove home. i tried to stop in berkeley to show her telegraph street and all the fun street vendors there, but the damn football game prevented us from finding legal parking. so we just went home and opted for a lazy evening of dyeing my hair, drinking her mom's (my aunt's) world-famous margaritas, and a game of upwords.

the next day was lafayette's 10th annual wine and arts festival. unfortunately i didn't take any pictures of that day, but it was fun. we walked up and down mt. diablo blvd. looking at crappy art, sampling (sampling in this case = full glass) wine, and petting strangers' dogs. it was a randomly hot september day in northern california so i bought a $40 hat (probably because i was on my 4th "sample") and scarfed down a funnel cake. alyssah won a bottle of wine. and tim and i supposedly won a free trip to hawaii, but were not holding our breath until we go. i'll let you know how that pans out. other than that, we were pretty wiped out so the three of us whipped up some dinner (okay...fine, tim and alyssah did most of the work because god knows me in a kitchen is not always a good idea) and watched t.v.

it was a good weekend...and i was glad to have somebody from texas come visit me. if anyone else is up for a fun-filled weekend in california give me a call. thanks for being my first visitor alyssah!

...and now that my sunday night leftovers are gone, i return to work.

in regards to our potential new chief justice...

dear mr. bush,

why should i like your nomination for chief justice when the director of FEMA that you picked out has buckled under pressure during our nation's most catastrophic natural disaster?

i look forward to your response.

sincerely,
a concerned citizen
usa

wine, wine, wine...

well...after peeling my eyes away from the tragedy being displayed on my t.v. i enjoyed quiet a lovely three-day weekend...the highlight being my day trip to the vineyards of sonoma, ca. but, i don't want to jump ahead of myself.

friday night was declared game night. so i spent a few hours combining the fun of stackable scrabble and yellow tail wine. it led to a few attempts at some non-existent words on my part, but overall was rather enjoyable. who would have thought that mixing childhood fun with adult beverages would pan out so well?

unfortunately, in order to make our 10am departure time i was rushed out of bed to get ready for the trip to the valley. tim and i were in good company with an college friend of mine and her...uh...well, the guy she drove up from san diego with. (long story...don't ask questions.) thankfully my backseat driving didn't get me slapped, and we made it to our first stop.

now, keep in mind we had no plan. we stopped at the visitor's center with the idea to pick up a map, but instead we picked up some rather tasty wine samples and hit the road again. as we drove down the road with all of the other weekend-wino's we saw this:
and who can resist something that looks so beautiful? especially when there's a sign saying "sparkling wine?" it was a great way to start the day off.

(yah...i know, we are really disgustingly cute.)

anyway...after touring the facilities at domaine caneros we ventured further down the road. next stop: valley of the moon. there we enjoyed some more lovely samples and even got to sneak into the room they keep all of the barrels of wine. mmmm...

after that a unanimous decision was made to visit the mayo vineyards. mostly because of the recurring jokes about what they put in their wine to give it their name. it proved to be a rather lucrative stop since we were provided with "complimentary" mayo vineyard wine glasses.

next stop: kunde estate vineyard. now, i must interject here in order to provide you, the reader, with a better idea of where our mental state was at the time. we had been to three vineyards, each one providing us with the equivalent of a glass to a glass and a half of wine. in order to fulfill our hunger we had stopped by a local quik-e-mart for some nutritious food, as well as made a stop to an unknown vineyard for their "bread & oil" sampling. needless to say...we were all feeling rather happy. hence the following photograph:

the funniest part of this story was unfortunately not caught on film. as tim was mounting the flowered-cow you see on the right he nearly tipped over what was assumed to be a heavy statue. it was not...and the cow momentarily experience what it was like to be a bipedal animal.

anyway...after that we tasted some more wine and at some more bread. we didn't get to attend the cave tour, but we did get to explore the grapevines up close, and that was cool (as well as rather scrumptious!)





these grapes make pinot noir.




following that adventure, things got a tad bit crazier. we visited chateau st. jean (part of the kenwood family) next and not only enjoyed beautiful wines, but also a beautiful location. there were beautiful gardens as well as a few fancy fountains. after tasting we sat and enjoyed the perfect weather...as well as getting in touch with our sororal roots (tim made us do it...he's way to easily entertained):

we called it a day after attempting to visit one more place and found it to be closed due to a wedding. stupid married people. but, nonetheless, we still got a picture.

we closed our day with a final stop at the visitor's center again...picking up some pesto, bread, and cheese for the ride back. it was an appetizer for the wonderful italian meal we had later that night. north beach restaurant: five stars. oh, and before i forget, i must mention something i learned at dinner that night: never, for any reason whatsoever, waive down a server at an italian restaurant. it will (a) lead to a nasty look from your "date" and (b) piss of your server.

sunday was spent at the movie theater (brothers grimm), grilling steaks on my community porch, and watching movies (l.a. story). a much needed low-key day after such an eventful saturday. and as for labor day...i did no labor. instead, i enjoyed the sunshine in tim's back yard...baking in the blow-up pool and drinking wine.

looking back at my weekend i have realized that i spent a majority of it consuming vino. i suppose that means i'm adapting well to the california lifestyle...

inablity to explain...

in the wake of my inablity to explain to anybody how i feel about the recent hurricane tradgedy, i have run across a fellow blogger's posting. it helps me to know that other people feel as distraght, helpless, and confused about the situation.

"It's all we can do from here for now. There is a big part of me that wants to fire up the truck and head down there to volunteer, but that is not possible or realistic on so many levels. Perhaps if we lived closer. I so want to help, but have no clue what to do in the short term. There is such a sense of hopelessness."

when politicians get real...

Mayor to feds: 'Get off your asses'
Transcript of radio interview with New Orleans' Nagin

Friday, September 2, 2005; Posted: 11:49 a.m. EDT (15:49 GMT)

(CNN) -- New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin blasted the slow pace of federal and state relief efforts in an expletive-laced interview with local radio station WWL-AM.

The following is a transcript of WWL correspondent Garland Robinette's interview with Nagin on Thursday night. Robinette asked the mayor about his conversation with President Bush:

NAGIN: I told him we had an incredible crisis here and that his flying over in Air Force One does not do it justice. And that I have been all around this city, and I am very frustrated because we are not able to marshal resources and we're outmanned in just about every respect.

You know the reason why the looters got out of control? Because we had most of our resources saving people, thousands of people that were stuck in attics, man, old ladies. ... You pull off the doggone ventilator vent and you look down there and they're standing in there in water up to their freaking necks.

And they don't have a clue what's going on down here. They flew down here one time two days after the doggone event was over with TV cameras, AP reporters, all kind of goddamn -- excuse my French everybody in America, but I am pissed.

...

Now, I will tell you this -- and I give the president some credit on this -- he sent one John Wayne dude down here that can get some stuff done, and his name is [Lt.] Gen. [Russel] Honore.

And he came off the doggone chopper, and he started cussing and people started moving. And he's getting some stuff done.

...

NAGIN: I have no idea what they're doing. But I will tell you this: You know, God is looking down on all this, and if they are not doing everything in their power to save people, they are going to pay the price. Because every day that we delay, people are dying and they're dying by the hundreds, I'm willing to bet you.

...

WWL: Why couldn't they drop the 3,000-pound sandbags or the containers that they were talking about earlier? Was it an engineering feat that just couldn't be done?

NAGIN: ...I flew over that thing yesterday, and it's in the same shape that it was after the storm hit. There is nothing happening. And they're feeding the public a line of bull and they're spinning, and people are dying down here.

WWL: If some of the public called and they're right, that there's a law that the president, that the federal government can't do anything without local or state requests, would you request martial law?

NAGIN: ...And I am telling you right now: They're showing all these reports of people looting and doing all that weird stuff, and they are doing that, but people are desperate and they're trying to find food and water, the majority of them.

Now you got some knuckleheads out there, and they are taking advantage of this lawless -- this situation where, you know, we can't really control it, and they're doing some awful, awful things. But that's a small majority of the people. Most people are looking to try and survive.

And one of the things people -- nobody's talked about this. Drugs flowed in and out of New Orleans and the surrounding metropolitan area so freely it was scary to me, and that's why we were having the escalation in murders. People don't want to talk about this, but I'm going to talk about it.

You have drug addicts that are now walking around this city looking for a fix, and that's the reason why they were breaking in hospitals and drugstores. They're looking for something to take the edge off of their jones, if you will.

And right now, they don't have anything to take the edge off. And they've probably found guns. So what you're seeing is drug-starving crazy addicts, drug addicts, that are wrecking havoc. And we don't have the manpower to adequately deal with it. We can only target certain sections of the city and form a perimeter around them and hope to God that we're not overrun.

WWL: Well, you and I must be in the minority. Because apparently there's a section of our citizenry out there that thinks because of a law that says the federal government can't come in unless requested by the proper people, that everything that's going on to this point has been done as good as it can possibly be.

NAGIN: Really?

WWL: I know you don't feel that way.

NAGIN: Well, did the tsunami victims request? Did it go through a formal process to request?

You know, did the Iraqi people request that we go in there? Did they ask us to go in there? What is more important?

And I'll tell you, man, I'm probably going get in a whole bunch of trouble. I'm probably going to get in so much trouble it ain't even funny. You probably won't even want to deal with me after this interview is over.

WWL: You and I will be in the funny place together.

NAGIN: But we authorized $8 billion to go to Iraq lickety-quick. After 9/11, we gave the president unprecedented powers lickety-quick to take care of New York and other places.

Now, you mean to tell me that a place where most of your oil is coming through, a place that is so unique when you mention New Orleans anywhere around the world, everybody's eyes light up -- you mean to tell me that a place where you probably have thousands of people that have died and thousands more that are dying every day, that we can't figure out a way to authorize the resources that we need? Come on, man.

You know, I'm not one of those drug addicts. I am thinking very clearly.

And I don't know whose problem it is. I don't know whether it's the governor's problem. I don't know whether it's the president's problem, but somebody needs to get their ass on a plane and sit down, the two of them, and figure this out right now.

WWL: What can we do here?

NAGIN: Keep talking about it.

WWL: We'll do that. What else can we do?

NAGIN: Organize people to write letters and make calls to their congressmen, to the president, to the governor. Flood their doggone offices with requests to do something. This is ridiculous.

I don't want to see anybody do anymore goddamn press conferences. Put a moratorium on press conferences. Don't do another press conference until the resources are in this city. And then come down to this city and stand with us when there are military trucks and troops that we can't even count.

Don't tell me 40,000 people are coming here. They're not here. It's too doggone late. Now get off your asses and do something, and let's fix the biggest goddamn crisis in the history of this country.

...for the entire transcript.

on a more serious note...

...hurricane katrina. i realize that everyone has probably been blogging on this, or the media covering it, or the politics surrounding it but i feel the need to express how i feel, regardless of other responses.

having grown up on the gulf coast, i know the looming fear that rises as hurricane season approaches, especially in the later summer months and beginning of fall. if you've never lived there, you don't understand...it almost seems like "a giant thunderstorm." but it's not. every time a storm system entered the gulf we were forced to think about the "what if's" and where we would go if we needed to evacuate. i remember being younger and laying in bed trying to figure out what i would take with me if i had to leave that instant. how much could i hold in my tiny arms? what was important enough to grab on my way out the door? for a while i kept everything of value to me in a drawer so that if i had to leave, it was all in one place. thankfully the worse i ever remember seeing was tropical storm allison that hit houston about 4 years ago. lots of flooding to most of the freeways, wind damage, and a few neighborhoods underwater. nothing compared to what happened on monday.

i have never been this affected by a natural disaster in my entire life. it might sound appalling, but i am more affected by katrina than i was september 11th. maybe it's because i can more easily grasp what it must be like there or maybe it's that this in no way was preventable. it might seem odd that i am this affected living 1,500 miles away in a state that doesn't understand what a thunderstorm is...but i am. if i were still living in texas i would have already left to volunteer. i hate that i can't give more than $25 to the red cross. i am appalled at the things taking place and my heart literally aches when i watch coverage or listen to interviews. yet at the same time, i can't turn it off. i find myself watching every channel and checking every website (yes, even fox news) so that i can get the biggest picture and the most information.

my emotions surrounding this are so conflicted at times. i find myself confused at the people who didn't leave, but understand that they assumed they would survive since they've been through other hurricanes. the people looting makes me sad, but at the same time...what would you do if there was no food, your belongings were washed away, and you had nothing to do? the people stealing guns and shooting at officers and rescuers baffles me. what does this say about human nature? are we destined to erupt in violent behavior during times like this, or are people just scared so shitless that they don't know what else to do?

how does something like this happen? (besides through the natural occurrences of weather.) how do cities recover from devastation like this? what do the millions of homeless people do during the upcoming months? how do you control the people running the city with stolen guns? where does the money to fix everything come from? is there a way to prevent it from happening again?

unfortunately, these are the questions everyone else is asking and they probably won't be answered for a while...

if you are interested in making a donation to the red cross, click here.