for all of you who...

...have those damned magnetic ribbons on your cars. what the hell? okay, so i understand that you support a cause (be it troops, breast cancer, gingivitis , or our president), and don't get me wrong, i think that's great you stand behind something. but really, when somebody is driving around with FIVE of them plastered the back of their suburban a line has been crossed.

this whole thing goes along with my theory that 9/11 provided people the ability to capitalize on patriotism (and now activism as well). now, i realize that people were already making money off u.s. flags and whatnot (somebody's gotta do it), but does america really need giant american flag car-magnets on its freeways in order to advertise its ego? remember, we do that by bombing the shit out of other countries. and so of course, somebody else took the idea of the car magnet and designed those nifty little ribbons that you stare at in afternoon rush-hour traffic for hours on end.

but it didn't stop there. conveniently, at the same time, lance armstrong bracelets were going strong. being sold on e-bay for 10x their original amount, they started another trend for activists...the rubber cause bracelet. you can get them for just about as many reasons as you can those stupid car magnets. don't think there's one out there for you? guess again. support the troops? get a forest green one. support lance? try the yellow. in love? the shady mart down the street sells "emoti-bracelets" for only $.99 a piece. vegan? hell, they probably have one for you...made with absolutely no animal parts of course.

hurry! act now! advertise who you are on your wrist for only $3.00 a bracelet!

now, don't get me wrong. i think that the bracelets are kinda cool. i just think when they became a junior high fashion trend it got old and ruined the original meaning. it always seems to be that way...things are cool until they become mainstream. shit, listen to me, i'm just bitching.

well...that led to one hell of a tangent. anyway, point being (whether it's the one i started with or not, i don't know)...i don't like those stupid car-magnets.

3000 miles later...

alright, so driving half way across the country and back can really lead to lots of thoughts. when time that 4am mark rolls around, you’ve spent hours staring at the little red lights ahead of you, alternating your glances to the surrounding darkness, you've been through nearly every song in your ipod, and you begin converstaions with words that don't exist...well, that's about the time your mind starts to wander into places that you never thought existed. you remember childhood stories that you have never told anyone; you dream about the places you could be in 5, 10, 20 years; you invent the craziest contraptions; skunks come out of nowhere; you come up with some of the stupidest jokes that you would never say aloud; and you question the reason for your existence.

as you can see from my pictures, we saw quiet a variety of things while on spring break. everything from hippies fixing their vans to pandas and sunsets. we drove at every hour of the day at least once (either there or back) and even attempted to dry out a pound cake on the dash because it got a little soggy in the ice chest. we got drunk (like all good spring breakers do), we shopped, we did the beach (including a bonfire), we took pictures, somehow i found the airport and various other places around town, and in the end felt like i lived in san diego. by the time we left, i was hunting for places to rent.

now, this all might seem hasty to some of you, but right now in my life i can actually do whatever the hell i want. i'm not saying for sure that i’ll be moving my ass to california, but i’m admitting that it’s a possibility. if i learned one thing from this trip, it’s that i’m excited that i have such an open future.

warning: cheesy moment ahead. don't want to hear it, don't read it.

my life right now parallels to the trip i took to california. i’d never driven the road before, but when i got there i was happy…i found things to do…i found people that make me happy…and i had fun. i guess it proved that wherever i end up i can be happy. i must apologize for the excessive drawn-out rant on my life…i know that this is what ever other person has gone though/will gone though/is going through and you’ve probably heard it all before, but it’s just where i am and what has compelled me to write tonight.

"don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. the real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle tuesday."

"don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life; the most interesting people i know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds i know still don't."

just a little taste...

below are just 12 of the 193 pictures from my road trip to california. enjoy.

lunch at cody's in la jolla 

bird at the hotel 

sunset on the beach outside the hotel room 

meerkat 

panda 

orangutan 

what i woke up to every morning in the hotel 

pacific beach 

first sunset in san diego (from the hooters deck) 

california mountains 

new mexico welcome stop 

kent, tx 

sometimes you just need a little too much coffee and a hazy atmosphere...

so tonight i realized more than ever that my "honesty policy" is the best thing i have ever implemented into my life. i know that i can thank one person for planting that idea in my head, and i will be forever grateful. and i can thank a handful more for vowing to keep the same policy with me.

there is just no way that things can go wrong if everyone tells the truth. yah, it may suck to hear it because sometimes the truth is shitty, but aren't you better off knowing how it really went down or the truth about how somebody feels? and sure, sometimes being honest and true with people is rough, causes nervousness, but the feeling after you've rambled on in incomplete sentences is one-of-a-kind.

and i do realize that the world will never be void of deception...it's human nature to protect dignity, pride, emotions, etc. through lying (or at least failure to complete the truth). but i can dream, and i can try my best to be somebody that isn't that way (at least all the time). and never could i once be unhappy with a person who takes the time out of their life to sit down with me and be straight up honest with me. i may not agree or comprehend what they are saying, but the ability for somebody to at least try and convey their feelings means enough.

so...with this blog comes a challenge: find something you want to be honest about with somebody (whether it mean you fess up to stealing your 1st grade best friend's favorite toy, showing your parents the "real you," or simply saying "i really don't like you/i really like you"). just take the time one day to do it...see how you feel afterwards, ask how they feel. and hell, it may not work for you, but at least you can say you tried. and if it does work out, then...i told you so.

sidenote...for all of you loyal fans that i know exist. don't think i'm quitting on my blog if you don't see a post for the next week or so. i'm road-tripping to sunny san diego tomorrow. i'm sure i'll return with much to rant about.

"i know you don't like me, and i respect that."
- finding neverland

so this thing could get me fired...

alright, so if you have stumbled upon my other blog (which i kindly refer to as my "shitty blog"), you probably have seen a link to dooce.com, a blog started by a woman who ended up getting fired for some of the things she said on-line about her co-workers. what she said isn't really important, go read her website if you really want to know more about her (or here, if you just want an overview of the issue), but the point is that she got fired for practicing her right to free speech.

yah yah yah, i know that private companies are allowed to prevent you from saying certain things regarding them or people who work there, but it still irritates me. people should be aloud to voice their opinions about things...and if they want to do it on the internet, then let them. everyone has shitty days and gets fed up with the boss every now and then, why do they have to keep their frustrations private? hell, the only reason i keep up with this thing is so i can comment on (and usually bitch about) things i encounter in my life - whether it be a t.v. show, a person, or an issue i’m passionate about. and i shouldn't really have to worry if people don't like it or find it offensive.

it reminds me of earlier this year when the university warned students (especially those in greek organizations) to watch what they post on their blogs and facebook profiles, specifically about organizations on campus or groups of people in the campus community. mostly because they were afraid it would cause problems and present a poor image of the school to those who are outside of "the bubble" or influence decisions of new students on campus. well fuck that.

1. college students are in a period of their life that they are trying to figure out who they are. part of that process is discovering what types of people you want to associate yourself with and who or what you don't like. we bitch about certain people to each other...why not share it with other people who probably experience similar frustrations throughout their life in some way or another. and you know what...i'm actually pretty tired of hearing other people complain about things (and i'm sure there are people who feel the same way about my rants)...more power to them if they want to post it on line. at least i have to option to read it and i'm not forced to listen to somebody gab.

(side note - i realized that my commentary on the issue of only paying attention to "selective bitching" via blogs, etc. reminds me of how our society is becoming more individually personalized. everything is marketable these days...even somebody's opinion. )

2. maybe people should think about how a "real" opinion on things (whether it be university or company related) could provide a clearer perspective on the way things really are. maybe instead of presenting a perfect image to people, we could give them one based on reality. i know that as a high school senior i wasn't too preoccupied with the student-faculty ratio on campus, i wanted to know what there was to do on weekends and what kind of people i could meet. if blogging about the university or aspects of it gives people looking at it a realistic view, then maybe the school's retention rate wouldn't have dropped over the past few years and there would be a better male to female ratio around here.

now anyway...i don't really have much of a conclusion to all this. i really do understand both sides of the argument. images run this world and it is therefore important to maintain the image you want. firing people or "scolding" them may be one way to deal with it, but i think it's better if we all just step back for a second and remember that everyone is entitled to their opinion on the world. sometimes i think people/companies/schools/organizations get too overprotective of the image they want to have and forget how to respect people's opinions. everyone is different and i think that in a world headed toward a more individualized structure we should remember that one person's ideas are not the only option.

but, in the end, i must say this: in no way is my blog representative of the other people i associate with (job, school, organization or other wise). yes, these things may influence my opinions, but i am just me and these are just my thoughts.

and one more thing...for those of you who are hoping to find your place in the world through blogging, here's hope and more power to you (i'm all for independent journalism - but i'll save that for another time): WHITE HOUSE ADMITS FIRST BLOGGER INTO NEWS BRIEFING

raise your hand if...

...you know where you'll be in six months. please tell me i am not alone in questioning where my life is going. and i'm not trying to aim this at people my age about to graduate from college...i'm asking everyone. i don't care of you’re 12, 28, 39, 56, or 75...do you really know where you'll be in six months? if you raised you hand...fuck you and go read somebody else's blog.

but for those of you who didn't (or for those if you who really care what i have to say on this subject), here are my thoughts: (as always...take them for whatever you want)

so i've already applied to jobs, i have about 7 more i'm interested in...i applied to graduate school...i've looked at the "average cost of living" in nearly every part of the country...i've calculated the cost of spending a year in europe...i've wondered how bad it really could be to move back home. you name it, i've considered it. and yes, options are great...but what's up with having so many? now, i don't mean to come across as bitching about the fact that i have too many choices, but sometimes i think it would be easier if god (or whatever higher being you have up in the clouds) cut out a few. you know, give me a few reasons why options A, R, and U just can't happen. and i'm not sure i even need that much...just a little hint, like a big sign on my car in the morning that says:

Dear Danielle,
YOUR PURPOSE IN LIFE IS _____________.

but yes, i know what you're thinking - where's the excitement in that? well, there isn't any. but frankly, right now i'm fed up with new shit. i'm tired of every day throwing me more stuff to deal with (good or bad). i just want to be able to turn my life off for 60 seconds and not have to worry about where i'm going.

and i'm sure tomorrow morning i will wake up and cross another day off on the "countdown to graduation" calendar, becoming more anxious for that day...but right now i'm not ready for it. so for now...pardon what is probably the first of many sporadic entries on "growing up," i promise i'll keep up with the social commentary at the same time.

for those of you in the same boat as me: if you're interested in a support group...we should start meeting every friday with a bottle of wine.

"i don't wanna grow up...i'm a toys-r-us- kid"
- a quote from my commercial-driven childhood

face it...

let me preface this entry with this: i'm a college student. i get sucked into all of the things that every college student does - i am not immune.

the topic of conversation today: thefacebook.com. for those of you out of the college loop, this is a website created by a couple of harvard students. according to them, "thefacebook is an online directory that connects people through social networks at colleges and universities." i define it as something to do when i'm bored late at night and a way to stalk people in a socially acceptable manner.

no, but really. i have decided that this thing is the newest communication device for my generation. we're over texting, we're over IMing, we're over e-mailing, and we are way over the phone. so what do we do? we "poke" people and leave messages on "their wall." we spend hours choosing what picture we want up on our profile...which one accurately depicts who you are in a single freeze frame. we join groups like "jon stewart is my hero" (started by yours truly...duh) and "seniors 2005" to show people who we are. we carefully pick our favorite movies, books, and quotes. because, god forbid, if you portray the wrong thing somebody might decline your friendship.

we basically spend all this time creating a persona on line so that other people can find us and invite us to be their friend. and it's not only people i go to school with right now. i am "friends" with 43 people at other universities around the nation...most of them people i went to high school with. granted, i haven't talked to these people since i graduated, much less really plan on seeing them outside of reunions, but i still wonder what they are up to, and apparently we are "friends" (even though we really only exchanged "hellos" in the hallways between class). oddly, i have discovered that i have a natural curiosity to find out what my 7th grade crush's favorite book is (among other things).

and it drives me nuts. i realize that i am falling into the very societal trend that i wrote about in my last blog. i am creating an identity through this new form of technological communication. i have myself wrapped up in a neat little package for any college student to open (that is, of course, if i am their "friend"). but i can't stop.

and now that i think about it...who am i to the random person that surfs through personal blogs? what do they think of me and what kind of person am i to them? are we risking losing our real identities to these newfangled ways of defining ourselves? or are we just finding a way to enhance who we are and share it with more people?

"thefacebook is one massive high-tech yearbook, gossip sheet, rolodex, matchmaking service and snoopfest" -bill lubinger (full article here)

the proof is in the pocket...

anybody else noticed how small things have gotten lately? literally. think about how far computers have come. since i was born they've gone from the size of a room to something you can put in a briefcase. and the smaller ones do more! first there was the iPod, then the iPod mini. remember how big cells phones used to be? and cameras...you can buy one the size of your average tampon now.

point being...the more technology has progressed in our culture, the smaller things have gotten. and of course, this doesn't mean that these mini-technologies do less than their big versions. the new blackberry (released some time toward the end of last year) does nearly everything your average desktop computer can (with the exception of burning cd's and such). it's a phone. it has wireless internet. it has a word processor...a camera...games...it practically can give blow jobs. and it fits in your pocket. what the fuck.

anyway, so back to the issue i want to get at: why does this happen? here's my theory:

as america has progressed into a fast-paced, image painted, commuting soccer mom, tourism culture we have all become too caught up in everything to know who we are. this started with the first image technologies (photography for example). image technologies allowed people to capture the moment. they could stop time...savor the space they were in and never have to let go of it. in a world that was rapidly picking up speed, what a great way to remember it all! so, people come to use these images of their lives as proof that they existed and have been somewhere, done something, during their life.

as images grew more popular in american culture the corporate world jumped on the bandwagon. realizing the power one small image could hold, they created advertising. by plastering images all over - magazines, bill boards, subways - companies could snatch your attention. they wanted to say, "hey, you...you're busy, but take a second to enjoy the image we are showing you. breathe it in." in some way or another, people attach to these images, long for whatever it was that they felt for that brief second in the store window, and immediately want the product. brilliant...i must admit. gets me every time.

but, not only are you getting their product for a low price of $9.95 + tax (order now and you’ll get free shipping). they are selling you a value, an ideal, a thought. and you, mr. or ms. busy-bee wishes you could call that image your own. buy it...and assume the identity you lost in the rush-hour traffic this morning.

as the image-driven society progressed, so did the speed at which the days go by. american life has gotten busier by the year. people have forgotten how to slow down. and with this hurried pace comes the fear of not being able to maintain our identity. we buy the things that makes us feel "pretty" and we require connection to everything and everyone at all times. this communication with others validates our identity. it helps us form the image that becomes who we are as an individual in the world.

and hence, in order to keep ourselves connected, and in turn maintain our self-created identity, we must carry every form of communication technology in our pockets. apparently our pockets hold the proof that we exist.

comments welcome...

wow. one week of blogging and i already have somebody jumping down my throat. impressive. i suppose i should have addressed this at the beginning of my blogging, but just so you people know:

• i don't expect you to agree with me.
• i do not believe that my view of the world is the only right one.
• i am not trying to "convert" anybody or bring anybody over to "my side."
• i never intend to piss you off - if you don't like it, let me know. but don't expect me to take it down because you disagree.
• i appreciate feedback...positive or negative.
• i don't care what you think of what i have to write - i write for me.

so, feel free to post comments...whether you do it because you're bored at work or because you don't have any views of your own so all you do is attack other people's. either way, rock on. i'll support you. aren't blogs all about free speech anyway?